Crystal Palace to play Conference side and lose 3-0

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Roy Hodgson’s Crystal Palace have lined up a match against a 5th division conference side, in the hope of rebuilding the confidence of his players prior to the fixture against Manchester United. The tactic is comparable of going out on a night out midweek and pulling a granny, and expected to finish with Sofia Vergara at the weekend, or punching a baby and knocking it out to think you can beat up Mike Tyson. One thing this fixture – before it has even started – has taught me is that my analogies are awful.

The most worrying part about this fixture is that in Palace’s current form, they legitimately have a chance of losing against 5th tier opposition, and I’m sure Roy knows that. Why else would it be 5th tier opposition and not a League One or Two side? The match will be played against Bromley behind doors, which is perhaps a good thing should they really lose 3-0.

Who are Bromley? Well they’re a conference side which are currently sitting 10th in the conference after 12 games. Their most experienced player is ex-Millwall defender Alan Dunne who has previously caused a brawl when Bromley played Palace’s U23 side in pre-season. It was reported by Football.London “An off-the-ball incident between Bromley’s George Porter and Palace’s Andre Coker sparked a mass brawl that, some fans claim, Dunne then steamed in and punched the Palace man.” There is a real chance that Crystal Palace could come out of this fixture with more than just a bruised ego.

Luton-v-Millwall_2901707

Expect some of this.

With the Eagles still not soaring, and failing to score in the Premier League this season United players could be a fantastic option this week. Both offensively and defensively, Bailly and Jones are both nailed on and will continue as the pairing and will likely keep another clean sheet. With news that Benteke is out with ligament damage could be considered bad news for Palace, but going by his form this season it probably isn’t.

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‘Bet you’re glad I didn’t sign another striker you owl man’

Palace have been one of the worst sides defensively and lost 5-0 to City last weekend, with Fabian Delph even managing to get in on the action. Fosuh-Mensah is out due to being loaned from his parent club, and Crystal Palace looking to replace Benteke with Carlton Cole (too dung for Persib Badung) or Rickie Lambert (I shit you not). I fully expect Mourinho to not take the fixture for granted and a strong side to be fielded. With Lukaku likely to continue his free scoring form he is a fantastic option for this week’s captaincy.

Early opinion: Captain Lukaku.

Probably closer opinion: Captain Lukaku.

Longer term opinion: I wonder what price Crystal Palace are to get relegated.

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